everyday is a struggle

don't mean to come off as depressed or depressing, but it's true, each day is like a struggle just to get going. and it's not because of age, and it's not because of health, it's all the other stuff. the dealing with what you want, what you can't seem to get, and what you've got -- which often feels more like, "what you're stuck with."

but, to avoid launching into a whole diatribe about the thing, or even to re-motivate myself, there-by exhausting my energy for the issue, I'll just say that you (meaning "me"... as well as you...) have to embrace the struggle. you have to find a way to rest in the struggle. to almost find comfort in the struggle.

that's what the zen guys in those movies mean when they say that life is suffering. I get it now (I'd gotten it for a long time, but now I understand it). but... that's life. and I guess I have to remind myself that to struggle against something, is a sign of life. of living.

so...

so, I don't know. I guess I'm saying that I'm gonna keep going, and gonna keep "struggling" for as long as I'm able.