Wednesday, February 04, 2009

false starts are a part of the process

back.
I've been really busy in my IMAX-ing world that I kinda let a little creating fall by the wayside. I also live in doubt when it comes to certain things. those who know about being creative, being a writer, or just living a little closer to the edge than to the center of the norm know that it's not easy on guts, and doubt can arise.
one of the things that I've decide to do and tell myself is to just "know" that this is also part of the process. that doubt is natural. that false starts happen. that fear of failure is logical. you don't want to fall down no matter how much you hear that it's normal, that it won't hurt that bad or that you'll get to the other side, you don't want to fall. period. but fall you will. fall you must. and I guess, in listening, reading, and reflecting (on any past "successes" from myself and others), that you want to get all the falling (failing) done and over and quickly out of the way, so you can get on to the good stuff.
I realize I'm saying this more for me than for anyone else. (I mean, hello? delusions of grandeur. how are you?) but I'm saying it (writing it) to say it. to get it off my chest and out. and then, to move on.

I love the idea of blogging, and read tons of other people's, but for me, I keep feeling like I've gotta get everything just right before I really start blogging. like, the idea, or the purpose, or the project or the WHATEVER needs to be all set and packaged before I start this additional thing. but I've gotta get over myself and just see this as something else. so that's what I'm doing.
I'm getting it done on my new computer, which is great. I'm really learning tons of new stuff on this powerful mac. I can't wait to get to it and show "you" out there. I've also worked up a few ideas to take to IMAX myself and pitch for films that they haven't thought of (which is weird, cause I never thought I'd even come up with something like that).

so that's that. for now.

2 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

well, somehow I just wound up here - it turns out there's an identifiable someone reading the lines you write. and yet I honestly don't know what exactly is making me actually leave you a comment, I might have an idea. it must be that, as a blogger, I'm often the one writing to himself through a blog just to turn thoughts and feelings into words and make it easier to manage everything that's going inside. (I can't help it - I'm writing to myself right now! I should be writing to you!). but my point is, even though I post some really personal stuff, I usually keep checking back to see if there's a comment, secretly hoping I do come across one, only to realize nobody said a thing. and that's when I tell myself I wasn't really expecting anyone to leave a comment in a post that's not even meant for him to read (I mean, how could I be, right?) and suppress the (small, but existant) disappointment. and that brings me to the original point: I thought I'd just leave you a comment cause I reckon it would be nice for you to know that there actually are real people reading you (in the most uncanny situations and from the most improbable places, believe me - you see, I'm actually from Brazil, it's 6 A.M. here and I haven't slept yet) and connecting to all of it in some way.

and just in case you're exactly the opposite kind of blogger I am (i.e. you'd rather NOT have anyone [let alone complete strangers] delving so deep into your personal thoughts and commenting them), let me put this to some use by just saying: I love your writing and the fact that it touched me in some (unexpected) way. Cheers from Brazil! And the best of luck with all of your ongoing and future projects :)

Shine!

July 13, 2009 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

just realized how dumb it is to say something like "personal thoughts". just disregard that first word, will you? :)

July 13, 2009 at 6:40 AM  

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